No screaming its all in your head!

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and blow shit up till you feel good again.

 2. When you are blue - i will get some paint.

 3. When you smile - I will know you finally got some.

4. When you are scared - I will remind you about it every chance I get. pussy!!

 5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to stop your fcuking bitching!!!

6. When you are confused - I will use little words so  you dont feel left out.

 7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

 8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at you. LITP!!

 This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? You may ask, because you are my friend.

 Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel!!!!